Lately, I’ve copped this phrase to prettily sum up how I feel about most things. I go through the motions of life but that kernel of caring is getting more elusive everyday. I wake up every morning embracing my yoga practice. Then the day starts with a cup of courage brewed from that single kernel of caring. I teach my sons, cater to their needs, and maintain the house. As the rest of life barrels around me, I couldn’t care less. I don’t clutch my pearls or get my feathers ruffled over anything. My Twitter and Facebook feed are filled with an abundance of things I should care about, but it’s overwhelming. Day to day concerns that would’ve had me in a state do not faze me. I don’t care. I shut it all down and wait for the next day to roll around so I can do it all again.
It’s a curious state of being. Have I found my zen? Maybe I’ve found nirvana! (hello, Kurt) Living day to day with no expectations or caring allows me time to just be. The minutia of life is really not as important as living in the moment. Life is too short to rage at the machine. If no one hears you scream, don’t scream louder, find a different way to express your displeasure. If your family and friends do not know you, don’t try to make yourself known. Get to know yourself and all else will fall into place. Clean out that closet you just crammed your emotional baggage. Find that single kernel of caring and nurture it for what matters.
Maybe I’m not dead inside. Maybe I’m enlightened.